Today is Valentine’s Day! Date with fiscal responsibility by using this tongue-in-cheek guide to the cheapest ways to get your tongue in cheek.
Image via Wikimedia
The fastest way to get your date into bed? IKEA. After dining on some authentic *ahem* Swedish cuisine, there is plenty of space to lounge around. Just go during a weekday, or you might have the bedside company of other faux shoppers. Unless you’re into that.
Cost: about RMB50
Image via @by.harper/Instagram
Take your date out of their comfort zone by taking them out of the safety of the city center. ‘Filthy alley walking’ may be a better title for this activity. Stop off at a high-end booze shop and grab some deer penis wine before hitting the allies. Who knows what will happen when you throw that philter into the mix?
Cost: RMB79 for alcohol
Image via Pixabay
Is that an awkward silence? No, it’s the clack of billiard balls. Street-side billiard places can be as cheap as RMB8 per hour. If you’re a pro at pool, it's a great chance to show off by pocketing some shots. If you’re just a beginner, perhaps your date can help with your stroke.
Cost: as low as RMB8 per hour
Image via Pixabay
Okay, a bit cliche. But a walk in the park can teach you a lot about someone. For instance, how far they can walk. Be sure to scout your route ahead of time and note a landmark – say, an artificial pond. Memorize a poem about water, recite it beside the pond and you’ll sound about 3-meters deep.
Cost: your dignity
Image via @mybookua/Instagram
Find a gaudy tent in a commercial square, inside you’ll find people selling pre-wedding photo packages through books filled with example images. A bride on a beach! A groom holding a fake guitar! If bringing up marriage on the first date doesn’t go down well, you should consider whether you want your date in the picture.
Cost: free, hope of a future relationship
This article was originally published online in August of 2016. It has been updated and republished on February 14, 2019.
[Cover image via Pixabay]
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